Happy Birthday, Mumma.
Right now, my weird sausage dog is repeatedly trying to eat a small black diamante that Mabel has stashed in my bed for safe keeping from her brother. You’d be horrified, but not surprised by that statement. Don’t worry, I’ve taken it off him.
Thank you for being so accepting of me. Though I’d live in the bed if I could and my will is made of iron and I’ve been so messy and both too quiet and too loud and there’s always a book in my handbag and I used to crash my bike into the house when I’d been out drinking and make you come out, in your nighty, and search the garden for my cell phone, which turned out to be in my hand. And there was that time I had a baby in your kitchen. And the time I put you in a headlock when I had a baby in my bedroom. Thank you for being so endlessly there for me. Especially when my choices were so far from what you would have wished for me. You always welcomed me home.
Thank you for always creating an environment of empathy, of care and of humour. Thank you for being a safe place. And not just for me and the babies and my myriad of bizarre and brilliant friends and animals over the years. But in the work you do. The excellence you are able to see in people. Your ability to nurture and nourish. Your enthusiasm. Your passion for your art and your interests is forever inspiring and motivating. ‘It feels good to work hard’ is such a powerful and promising lesson, especially for someone who was so scared of beginning. Who is scared of who they might, or mightn’t be. What they can or can’t do. The strengths you have taught me by example are some of the best things about me. I know a lot of people feel that way about you.
Thank you for always telling me the truth, even when I wasn’t listening. Thank you for your boundless love, even when I was working so hard to test all boundaries. You have taught me about worth and value and truth and love. You have shown me how to be a mother and how to be myself. You’ve shown me the importance of both.
Theo has sat next to me the whole time I’ve been writing this, asking all his questions, wanting to make sure I get it just right. Mabel has just burst into the room; ‘Mama!’ she’s roared in my face, clutching on to me with force. ‘I know what I want to make Gabba! I want to make her a statue of a duck because she misses her ducks so much!’. You’re loved, Mumma. You’re loved, you’re loved, you’re loved.
Your vitality enriches everything it comes into contact with. You’re so beautiful. You’re such a gift.
Happy Birthday to you.
All my love,
Alice Elizabeth Lambikins Bunnykins.
I like Gabba’s carrots. (a message from Theo)
7 thoughts on “A love letter to my Mother on her birthday.”
well I so glad you love me so much…you must keep this and read it at my funeral…it will save you time…of all the things I do and make and see and feel and listen to you are up there with ducks and clouds and the smell of honey suckle…thank you for being such a lovely daughter…and it hasnt been hard being your mum…and what I have always wished for you is that you live your own life the way you want, tell your own stories to your Grandchildren, be loving, have fun and feel joy 🙂 and so far you doing a great job of accumulating stories, forming another generation and making great choices when challenges come your way making the people you love know that they are (thats me too) and you have the best smile…love you Alice xxx thank you for this 🙂
Theo the carrots come from the new world
perfect and precious.
This is beautiful. And your Mother’s comment made me cry. What a lovely family you have.
I read this today again and realise how lucky I am to have had you xxxx your letters pay forward when the weather is grey 🙂 love you Bubby
its been a while since you wrote this to me…we have both have to reconsider where and who we live with…the exciting thing once your through the packing and unpacking is you get to look around and realise you are still okay and the things that really matter come with you…and thats love. The hardest things for me being a mother is letting go…like placing a little feather on the running stream and watching it take its own path through the water…what helps is remembering energy doesnt die it changes form …over and over and over…we arent just relevant grains of sand, we are connected particles of something so immense and beautiful that reflects that back to us at time especially when things seem impossible…beautiful Alice you give back to the world the most beautiful light…I see you and so do those lucky enough to know you xxxxx
I read this again today and its amazing how with age I feel myself shrink somehow and see you expand in your loveliness…dont stop expanding even when you get to this age of shrinking…Im trying to still do too much and forget to be kinder to the ones I think Im doing it for..so dont stop remembering the ones you love …your love is so fine and delicate and sweet and beautiful and profound and funny…I cant imagine you loosing these gifts…how did we get here love?… as time passes how I feel for you never changes…I love you heaps and heaps and more xxx