I am scratching myself where I am itching.

Theo: ‘My bottom is itchy.’

Alice: ‘Hmm? Oh, always wash your hands after you touch your bottom, darling.’

Theo: ‘No, just the edges are itchy. Not the middle. Not my poo-hole. What are these bits called?’

Alice: ‘…They’re your bumcheeks, darling.’

Mabel: ‘BUMCHEEKS!’

Theo: ‘I am scratching my bumcheeks!’

Mabel: ‘BUM! CHEEKS!’.

We are in public.

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