Theo: ‘The snake is dead, Mama. He was our friend.’
If you have ever wondered what happens when you leave a worm on a piece of tissue, under the lid of a roasting dish, in the midday sun, let me tell tell you now that I think your energies could be put to better use on experiments that do not conclude in a lavish burial ceremony.
(It was like, crisp, you know?)
Theo: ‘Hello bug!’
Mabel: ‘HELLO BUG!’
Theo: ‘Oh. Don’t be scared, Bug. It’s just us!’
Mabel: ‘YEAH, BUG. IT’S JUST US!’
Theo: ‘…Where are you going, Bug?’
Mabel: ‘COME BACK BUG! BUG! COME BACK!’
Theo: ‘Good boy, Bug! Now; sit!’.
Alice: ‘C’mon, Mae. Time to get dressed.’
Mabel: ‘No! I am a nudie!’
She says with just as much flourish as you are imagining.
She holds up a range of dresses; each briefly modeled before being flung to the floor.
She selects two socks; both of pink stripes, but unmatched.
‘Mae-Mae wear deez socks!’, she informs me.
I dump her on her bed of pink flowers.
Alice: ‘Alright then; let’s get these socks on’.
I’m hopeful.
Mabel: ‘No! I want to wear them on my eyes!’
So she does.
Mabel: ‘I’ve got a bogey!’
She says to me with her finger up her nose.
Alice: ‘Oh, don’t pick that, darling. Go and get a tissue.’
She leaves and returns a moment later.
Mabel: ‘I picked it off!’
Alice: ‘…and where did you put it?’
She smiles.
Alice: ‘…It’s in your mouth, isn’t it?’
She chews.
Alice: ‘Oh, Mae-Mae!’
She roars with laughter.
Theo: ‘Mama, why didn’t you make me brown when I was in the oven?’
Mabel: ‘Mama, is it Christmas? On Christmas I can eat chocolate. With my hands!’
Alice: ‘Bubba, can you please go and get your hammer and wrench from the driveway?’
Theo: ‘…it’s not a wrench, Mama. It’s a spanner.’
Mabel: ‘Mama; Theo has a pemis?’
Alice: ‘Yes, darling. Theo has a penis.’
Mabel: ‘And Buzz Lightyear has a pemis?’
Alice: ‘For the purpose of this excercise, yes.’
Mabel: ‘Do I have a pemis?’
Alice: ‘No, darling. You have a vagina.’
Mabel: ‘I have a ‘gina?’
Alice: ‘That’s right. Girls have a vagina and boys have a penis.’
Mabel: ‘…book has a pemis?’
Alice: ‘No. A book is just a book.’
Mabel: ‘And a chicken has a body!’
ourtinylandscapes.com 