Theo: ‘Mama, where do my dreams come from?’
Alice: ‘Well…’
Theo: ‘They come out of the sky, out of the clouds and into my house and into my bed and into my noggin!’
Tag Archives: Quotes
I’m sorry. What did you just say?
Know Your Role.
Theo: ‘Mama, Mae-Mae is sad!’
Alice: ‘Oh dear, Bubba. Come on; let’s go cheer her up’
Theo: ‘No, you cheer her up! That’s your job!’
Funny Bone.
Theo: ‘Mama, what am I made of?’
Alice: ‘Well…’
Theo: ‘I am made of boy and body and strong!’
In Father Christmas We Trust.
Theo: ‘The Christmas Man! He wears Christmas shoes and a Christmas Hat! He says ho, ho, ho! He lives in the sky and he sees us all!’.
Damn the Patriarchy.
Theo: ‘I have a penis and a bottom. Otto has a penis and a bottom. Mama has a fanny and a bottom. Mae-Mae has a fanny and a bottom.’
Mabel: ‘No! I have a digger!’
It’s only funny until someone loses an eye.
Theo: “Guess what’s in my belly button!”
Alice: “…is this a trick question?”
Theo: “A train and a lollipop and another train!”
Alice: “That’s amazing, Bubba. I should sell you to the Circus.
Theo: “…Why?”
Alice: “Because of all the things you can fit in your belly button!”
Theo: “…I don’t want you to sell me to the Circus”
Alice: “Sorry, darling. I was just tricking”
Theo: “…Why are you tricking me, Mama?”
Alice: “I was just being silly, darling”
Theo: “Well, don’t.”
Portrait of the Author as a Mother.
Theo: “Mama, I am 3. How old are you?”
Alice: “Yes; you are, and Mae-Mae is 2. How old do you think I am?”
Theo: “I don’t know…”
Alice: “Ever tactful, darling. Have a guess. Do you think I am old or young?”
Theo: “Let me check…”
(Results are in: I am ‘old-young’. Paring down my skin-care routine to moisturising, fretting and 1000 kisses a day seems to be paying dividends)
Flora & Fauna.
Theo: “I need to grow you into a plant!”
Mabel: “Why?”
Theo: “You’d be lovely as a plant.”
Mabel: “No! Mae-Mae’s a girl!”
Theo: “Yes, you have a vagina…Mama, do plants have fannies?”
Takin’ Care of Business #2.
Mabel has egg shell stuck to her bottom. (You know how it is.)
Mabel: “I’ve got a poo egg!”
Theo: “I will help you!”
Mabel: “No! Don’t touch my bottom egg! Mama! Do it!”
Alice: “Certianly, darling. It’s the role I was born to play”.
Takin’ Care of Business.
Theo: “Mama, where is my poo?”
Alice: “…is this a trick question?”
Theo: “It’s in my bottom! I need to eat some more so the food will push the poo out. Can I have a chicken sandwich?”
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