Mabel: ‘I’ve got a bogey!’
She says to me with her finger up her nose.
Alice: ‘Oh, don’t pick that, darling. Go and get a tissue.’
She leaves and returns a moment later.
Mabel: ‘I picked it off!’
Alice: ‘…and where did you put it?’
She smiles.
Alice: ‘…It’s in your mouth, isn’t it?’
She chews.
Alice: ‘Oh, Mae-Mae!’
She roars with laughter.
Theo: ‘Mama, why didn’t you make me brown when I was in the oven?’
Mabel: ‘Mama, is it Christmas? On Christmas I can eat chocolate. With my hands!’
Mabel: ‘My heart is a rainbow! Please clean my room!’
Alice: ‘Bubba, can you please go and get your hammer and wrench from the driveway?’
Theo: ‘…it’s not a wrench, Mama. It’s a spanner.’
Mabel: ‘Mama; Theo has a pemis?’
Alice: ‘Yes, darling. Theo has a penis.’
Mabel: ‘And Buzz Lightyear has a pemis?’
Alice: ‘For the purpose of this excercise, yes.’
Mabel: ‘Do I have a pemis?’
Alice: ‘No, darling. You have a vagina.’
Mabel: ‘I have a ‘gina?’
Alice: ‘That’s right. Girls have a vagina and boys have a penis.’
Mabel: ‘…book has a pemis?’
Alice: ‘No. A book is just a book.’
Mabel: ‘And a chicken has a body!’
Theo: ‘Mama! I need hammers on toast!’
Alice: ‘…Hammers?’
Theo: ‘Yes!’
Alice: ‘…on toast?’
Theo: ‘Nah, hummus.’
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Mabel: ‘Mama; Bubba is scared!’
Alice: ‘Oh, no! What’s Bubba scared of, Darling?’
Mabel: ‘The Lion!’
Alice: ‘The Lion? Oh dear. Where is this Lion?’
Mabel: ‘On the front step!’
Alice: ‘The front step! How bold! What are we going to do?’
Mabel: ‘…We’ll put him in a basket…’
Alice: ‘Okay.’
Mabel: ‘…and put him on the bus!’
Alice: ‘The bus?’
Mabel: ‘Yes. That’s a good idea.’
Alice: ‘Another problem solved.’
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