Dosen’t Your Mother Feed You Enough?

Mabel: ‘I’ve got a bogey!’

She says to me with her finger up her nose.

Alice: ‘Oh, don’t pick that, darling. Go and get a tissue.’

She leaves and returns a moment later.

Mabel: ‘I picked it off!’

Alice: ‘…and where did you put it?’

She smiles.

Alice: ‘…It’s in your mouth, isn’t it?’

She chews.

Alice: ‘Oh, Mae-Mae!’

She roars with laughter.

Mae’s Anatomy.

Mabel: ‘Mama; Theo has a pemis?’

Alice: ‘Yes, darling. Theo has a penis.’

Mabel: ‘And Buzz Lightyear has a pemis?’

Alice: ‘For the purpose of this excercise, yes.’

Mabel: ‘Do I have a pemis?’

Alice: ‘No, darling. You have a vagina.’

Mabel: ‘I have a ‘gina?’

Alice: ‘That’s right. Girls have a vagina and boys have a penis.’

Mabel: ‘…book has a pemis?’

Alice: ‘No. A book is just a book.’

Mabel: ‘And a chicken has a body!’

 

Oh My.

Mabel: ‘Mama; Bubba is scared!’

Alice: ‘Oh, no! What’s Bubba scared of, Darling?’

Mabel: ‘The Lion!’

Alice: ‘The Lion? Oh dear. Where is this Lion?’

Mabel: ‘On the front step!’

Alice: ‘The front step! How bold! What are we going to do?’

Mabel: ‘…We’ll put him in a basket…’

Alice: ‘Okay.’

Mabel: ‘…and put him on the bus!’

Alice: ‘The bus?’

Mabel: ‘Yes. That’s a good idea.’

Alice: ‘Another problem solved.’