Rise and Shiner.

It is 5.30am.

Mabel: ‘You need to kiss me! I’ve got a purple poo! Kiss the purple poo! You’ve got a green face, Pink Face! Peppa Pig! Mabel Pig! Purple poo! You’re getting hungry. You need to eat pasta. I did a fart. I need to say pardon. Lie down! Lie down! Lie down! GET UP! Mind out of my way! Let’s have a picnic! Of soup!’

Then she karate chopped me in the eye.