You hum it; I’ll play it…On You Tube.

Theo: ‘Sing it, Mama!’

Alice: ‘I don’t know how it starts, Bubba. How does the beginning of the song go?’

Theo: ‘It starts at 000 and then the circle tells you to wait while it loads, and then you skip the ad and then it plays the song!’


Rise and Shiner.

It is 5.30am.

Mabel: ‘You need to kiss me! I’ve got a purple poo! Kiss the purple poo! You’ve got a green face, Pink Face! Peppa Pig! Mabel Pig! Purple poo! You’re getting hungry. You need to eat pasta. I did a fart. I need to say pardon. Lie down! Lie down! Lie down! GET UP! Mind out of my way! Let’s have a picnic! Of soup!’

Then she karate chopped me in the eye.