Theo: ‘Mama! I need hammers on toast!’
Alice: ‘…Hammers?’
Theo: ‘Yes!’
Alice: ‘…on toast?’
Theo: ‘Nah, hummus.’
Tag Archives: The Truth (no one will tell you)
Things I Wear On My Head To Amuse The Children #3
Babushka Stickers.
Bags Under Eyes: Models Own.
Oh My.
Mabel: ‘Mama; Bubba is scared!’
Alice: ‘Oh, no! What’s Bubba scared of, Darling?’
Mabel: ‘The Lion!’
Alice: ‘The Lion? Oh dear. Where is this Lion?’
Mabel: ‘On the front step!’
Alice: ‘The front step! How bold! What are we going to do?’
Mabel: ‘…We’ll put him in a basket…’
Alice: ‘Okay.’
Mabel: ‘…and put him on the bus!’
Alice: ‘The bus?’
Mabel: ‘Yes. That’s a good idea.’
Alice: ‘Another problem solved.’
Red, Yellow, Pink, Green, Purple, Orange and Peanut Butter.
Alice: ‘What would you like to eat, Mae?’
Mabel: ‘Rainbow Toast!’
Alice: ‘…I’m not sure that’s a thing…’
Mabel: ‘RAINBOW TOAST!
Alice: ‘Yes, Boss.’
Breakfast is the Most Important Meal of the Day.
Mabel: ‘Yum! Yum! Little sausages!’
She says as she licks her own toes.
Mabel: ‘Try them, Mama!’
And I do. It’s a perk of the job.
Christmas Questions #3
It is 5am. I awake to Mabel stroking my hair and whispering.
Mabel: ‘I want to go to the Warehouse. I want a castle. Big. And a computer. Is it Christmas?’
Over and over.
My Way Or The Mae Way.
We are rolling about on the bed; making letters with pillows. After a successful ‘T’ another pillow is fetched to attempt an ‘M’.
We are working on tidying up one unholy mess before we move on to make another unholy mess.
Alice: ‘C’mon, Mae. Let’s put this pillow back in your room.’
Mabel: ‘No! Mae-Mae can’t do it!”
Alice: ‘And why not?’
Mabel: ‘I can’t! …Because I don’t want to!’
Christmas Questions #2
Theo: ‘The Christmas Man loves snow! When will the snow come, Mama?’
Alice: ‘Well, darling, we live in the Southern Hemisphere, down here. So it is Summer for us at Christmas time.’
I gesture wildly at the Globe.
Theo: ‘But…The Christman Man needs snow to fly!’
Alice: ‘He does?’
Theo: ‘Yes! I need snow for Christmas!’
Oh, good. I’ll just add that to the list of things you won’t be getting for Christmas.
Things I Wear On My Head To Amuse The Children #1.
Tutu #4.
If You Can’t Say Something Nice.
Mabel: ‘Stop being crappy, Mama!’
Alice: ‘…Excuse me?!’
Mabel: ‘MAMA! STOP BEING CRAPPY!’
Alice: ‘…Do you mean crabby?’
Mabel: ‘Dunno.’
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